like elk, hipsters roam together.

so why the hell do i always see your emaciated being sitting in front of thislittlecoffeeshop alone? get the memo, kid. hipsters are only cool when moving en masse.

hey, you.

yes, you. this morning, i judged you as you tastefully styled each piece of your dirty hair in the mirror. i judged you as you filled your mason jar with coffee. when you stepped out your front door in your old-school sneakers, i judged you. i judged you as you hopped astride your thisismemakingastatementbike and rode off into the sunrise with that old-school backpack of yours hanging limp and uselessly on your back.

why would i judge you so?

because you're a goon, that's why. because you NEED to be judged. your very existence as a hipster practically BEGS for judgement.

i guess what i'm trying to say here is that the absurd "otherness" of hipsterdom intrigues me. it beffudles me. it challenges everything i have learned and like to think about this world.

and as you judge me, a member of the greatignorantmasses- unenlightened about the merits of wearing grandpa's sweaters and listening to radiohead, i judge you.