pardon my asking,

but aren't those turquoise things you are wearing underpants?

i know i'm being presumptuous, but i guess i've spent my whole life assuming that the one true, lasting law in fashion is that undies go UNDER things.

leggings, pants, skirts, dresses, jorts, bellbottoms, evening gowns. what HAVE you.

i'm beginning to feel like i don't even care anymore.

FINE.

WEAR your UNDERWEAR over your leggings

Judges You Like A Hipster, Comment Box

everyone- let's just all calm down.

we recently received a comment on one of our posts that was entirely out of line. this blog is largely a commentary on fashion. we are respectful in our posting, and make every effort not to alienate anyone on or off campus.

these comments are meant to be satirical, not mean.

it is our right to say what we are saying, if you are offended by it- don't READ it. this is a part of what makes the internet such a beautiful place.

we're not posting pictures of anyone, and we request that you have a little self respect and not post any either.

rude, tasteless, disrespectful, and just plain mean comments posted on our blog targeting anyone will deleted immediately.

thank you,

the ladies.

now, back to work.

3:16PM: Center of Campus

You thought you could get away, but I saw you.

And I judged.

Who in their right mind would wear silver leggings? Hunny, those are things that only Posh could pull off. Judging by the rest of your outfit those were not a conscious fashionable purchase. Who knew what you were thinking when you pulled green shorts over them?

Recommendations: Buy some real pants. They're much warmer. And we won't judge you for those.

Cheers!

Weekly Round-Up; The Usual Suspects

in every crime of fashion, we find time is inextricably involved.

cut-off jorts (jean shorts) originate in the late 1980s and early 1990s and don't belong anywhere else but themed dance parties and period movies. no excuses are accepted for the wearing of these bastardized jean mutants. unless, of course, one involves michael j. fox and altogether unfortunate time-travel circumstances.

suspect #1: student in dining hall on green street. cut-off jorts, ill-fitting beige leggings, hiking boots. black led-zeppelin t-shirt.

no time machine or aging 80s teen film stars in sight.

we all wore elastic-waist jeans and corduroys in elementary school. it was humiliating, yes, but we were growing children and thusly, such articles of clothing were deemed somewhat socially acceptable. we dealt with the heinous ugly of these pants by wearing sweatshirts to hide the waistband in question.

suspect #2: student in seelye hallway proudly sporting a "this is what a feminist looks like" t-shirt tucked into high-elastic-waisted acid-washed jeans tucked into rainboots.

yes, these pants DO make you look bloated, middle- aged, and miserable. would like to request that you discontinue representing feminists until you get your wardrobe under control.

6:45pm: putting away dishes

Dear girl,

Do you not know that you can't wear a vomit green floral print skirt with blue softball socks? Also, are those pink pantaloons popping their frilly ends from under your skirt? Your sweatshirt is cut up but you still have a hood. Hm. Black Nike sneaks. Klassy.

I judge you for walking outside looking like that. You had it coming.

Cheers!

5:45 PM, Dining Hall on Elm

my dear child, 

that's quite a few capes you've got there.

so, while it's still so damned cold outside, may i suggest that instead of layering useless felt capes you invest in a nice warm winter jacket (read: REAL CLOTHES)?

thank you, ma'am, and good day.

7:15 PM, Green Street Dining Hall

one, two, three, four- watch them all walk in the door.

since when have black leggings, boots, colored tunics, and sweatshirts become our national uniform?

they teach us in elementary school that ingenuity, creativity, and innovation are the hallmarks of american society.

i'd really like to know why we don't see much of that customary free thinking at this institution of higher learning.