6:45pm: putting away dishes

Dear girl,

Do you not know that you can't wear a vomit green floral print skirt with blue softball socks? Also, are those pink pantaloons popping their frilly ends from under your skirt? Your sweatshirt is cut up but you still have a hood. Hm. Black Nike sneaks. Klassy.

I judge you for walking outside looking like that. You had it coming.

Cheers!

the murky depths of facebook

you have 43 photo albums, but after some extensive research (read: stalking), i've come to the conclusion that they're identical. there is NO REASON why there should be 43 albums of sporadic makeout sessions with your friends from odd angles. also, it's quite obvious that you were Under the Influence during these photo shoots, so really, only a couple pictures of you sprawled on your hallway floor are necessary.

i hate to say it, but this holds especially true because none of you are all that attractive.

reality bites, kids.

-cee

EDIT: further research has revealed that there are 57 albums, not 43. FIFTY SEVEN.

jesus h, let's all just calm down.