and it's been a while

but we're back. hold onto your panties, folks.
we're a year older, a year wiser, and a year bolder.

take five

so you may have noticed a suspicious lack of posts in recent days. maybe you've reacted by falling into the grief cycle, and are currently looking at this post through tearful eyes over a pint of Chubby Hubby.  more likely, though, you're wondering why i'm even bothering to say anything about our absence because you've been too busy celebrating by living life to its fullest in naught but leggings and/or sixteen layered bandanas.  

the fact of the matter is, we're on spring break. it's not that there's a lack of people to judge in our respective hometowns (i'd even go so far as to say that that's emphatically not the case), but more that our brains are kindofreally exhausted. if you can possibly avoid it, you should never judge before you think. 

in short...we'll be back. 

- cee

weekly round-up

in one corner, we have high school mallrat boys in sweatpants-

it's raining outside. yeah, i know. whatever. happens to the best of us, even girls.

but there is no excuse, unless you're five and ridiculously adorable, for you to have tried using your sweatpants as a life raft.

you're rapidly approaching full-grown-man-hood and there really is no reason for all this wetnessinyoursweatpants.

in the other corner, we have the girl wearing the MOST adorable dress of all time OVER the ugliest grey sweatpants god ever thought of creating.

i mean, for really, it should be like a sin.

you just violated my soul, a bit, with that beautiful dress and those THINGS.

dear miss,

your hat is dirty, old, and frankly kind of gross.

actually, it's kind of surpassed the region of gross and now more dwells in the region of cess, crust, and gnarly.

also, it has things stuck on it. THINGS! it's like you've got your own dashboard going on up in there!

Self mockery

Something a little unusual, I just HAVE to question my judgment this morning: (nearly) open toed ballet flats. I mean, REALLY? While this wouldn't have been a problem if I were staying inside of my classroom today but it just so happens that we were out on the athletic fields. At 9am. With ice. No gloves.

Crazy? Most definitely.

weekly round-up

1. this week's award for ingenuity and innovation in fashion choice-

flannel pajama bottoms + hippie skirt + dress + military issue jacket= eternal warmth.

you just brought the fashion concept of layering to an all-new level.

however, the ice you walk is rather thin: one more layer and you WILL look like a slightly more colorful edition of the michelin man.

2. this week's award for most masochistic choice of apparel-

goes to you, dear sir, with the skinniest jeans ever sown.

my legs, even with all their experience with control-top hosiery and skinny jeans, call out in pain every time i glance at your peg-- i mean, legs. i myself just recently discovered that it can be cool, hot, sexy and comfortable to invest in a pair of pants in your own size.

i have also found that i can wash them more often because i can fit into them afterwards- no fatpantdance.

3. this week's award for bravest choice of legwear-

goes to you girls with the metallic leggings. you have good legs, yes, this is true. but it must have taken all of your morning muster and physical wherewithal to squeeze last-night's-thighs into those tightreflectivefuckers.

for seriously, i'm jealous. i might have chosen a longer tunic, but... you rock those metallic sausag-- i mean, leg casings.

4. this week's award for most dangerously-out-there choice of apparel-

goes to you girls rocking the american apparel shortshortshortshortyshortshorts. with NOTHING underneath. in mid-winter. with flats. and knee-highs.

i mean, to be honest, the exposed portions of YOUR legs were telling MY brain that they were cold. and i saw you from across the room!

that's some intense fashion commitment. i have difficulty wearing shorts in the summer because of the whole awkward-thigh-friction-thing-factor.

maybe you've got the right idea, though, wearing theshortshorts in the wintertime. i feel you. decreased friction-factor.

8:39AM: Recipe For Disaster

Morning Madness:

1 black pea coat (2 sizes too big so that you cannot see your arms)
1 pair of brown hiking shoes (as sturdy as they get, the stronger the better)
1 blue skirt (The ends must be completely destroyed and shredded to pieces)

Mix all together with a touch of sunlight and grogginess.

Serves: One

CAUTION: MAY CAUSE OTHERS TO JUDGE YOU